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Choosing to Love No Matter What


I have decided to allow myself the freedom to love. You would think that would be an easy, logical conclusion to the Christian life; but for me, it has been a struggle. For some reason love and guilt have always walked hand and hand. It has taken me 35 years to pull guilt off and tell it to get lost. I have decided that life is too precious to allow individual perception of "good and evil" determine whether it is acceptable to love people or not. Race, gender, marital status, sin, virtue are all non determinants, in my opinion, of who deserves my love. I choose to love any one and everyone the Holy Spirit kindles in my heart to love. I am open and willing to love the most extreme of cases. I am willing to ride the very edge of acceptable and love despite gossip or intimidation.

I really can't explain it; but, Christopher's hug released that within me.
It was the first time a man was not afraid to hug me. He had no reservations to NOT release me after the jovial pat. He refused to give me a shallow, "safe", christian boy/girl, hug and by doing so.. something inside of me snapped. Peace flooded me. I realized that it was ok to express affection in this way, without the expectation of pain, disdain, or rumors. That we are truly allowed to express love for one another. It really is ok.


WHOA, what freedom. What Joy. I am allowed to express LOVE. I am allowed to hold someone and not be afraid of how he or she or others may interpret it. I am allowed to have a true friend that knows my heart and knows my intentions. I can be genuine. sigh.. thank you, Christopher. You are a sweetheart.

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