Jiron

Someone called first thing this morning and tried to get me fired. Nice.... So needless to say. I spent the day proving that the poor sap that called the President of the company to complain that I overlooked $27,000.00 worth of invoices, embarrassingly WRONG. When the day was done, I ended up with a $500.00 bonus check on my desk and a quick, "We really appreciate all you do." TODAY is an example of: "And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to His purpose."- Romans 8:28 Very Nice..... I can get the brakes done on my van now. voilla .. answered prayer.

“ It has been a matter of honor to me to make myself obscure to the ignorant, for that is what distinguishes the learned; to speak in a style that seems Greek to the ignorant, for precious pearls should not be cast before swine .”- Luis de Gongora, Spain’s great Baroque poet Sigh... I wish I would have read this a few months ago. You just don't know how hard I TRIED to reason with the ignorant. I know now.. it just can not be done. I think the biggest surprise comes when you realize too late that some people are not sensible, especially in the area of religious dogma. I can't even begin to imagine how tough it must have been on Jesus to deal with Pharisees every day.

Caught up constantly in the ebb and flow of the obscurity that makes sure I know I am nothing much to behold as I constantly do what I am told. -CHER

A couple of weeks ago, Lauren introduced me to the idea of going on a missions trip to Africa. I have to admit, my first "motherly" response was.. "NO! don't get distracted away from college". And, of course, "Who are these people trying to take my little girl out of the country?!?" Then came>>>> "WOW, my daughter is going to be a missionary in AFRICA! How awesome is that!" I spoke with a wonderful friend of mine and the vision came alive in my heart. It also blew my mind when she offered to sponsor a portion of Lauren's trip. When she offered without me even asking or thinking to ask.. I realized God placed that desire in her heart. I knew then, that this is a God thing and I get to watch Him work. We went to a meeting at Bethel Temple in Bryan last Saturday night and Keith Miller spoke. He said that there was someone there that wanted to go to a 3rd world country for a missions trip and the only thing preventing them is mone...

I am meeting with David today. I sold him my land in Security, but he owes me the final interest payment before I put it in his name. I told him to take his time on the final payment, that I am not in a HUGE hurry to pay the interest income tax for it. He wasn't in a big hurry for a balloon payment either. So we have been content for some time now. But something has come up..and I am kicking myself hard. I had a friend tell me to be sure to keep the mineral rights on the land. I remember saying, "that's a great idea!"; but that is as far as it went. Now I have a sticky situation. There may be oil on the land. There are papers to be signed that will give permission for a seismic survey to test it for oil; and, since I am still the owner.. I am the one to sign. But then what? What if they find oil? I "own" the land. But they pretty much finished paying on it minus a lump sum. It would be wrong for me to claim full ownership of the land at this point. Then aga...

I brought my lunch today. Just left overs... Chicken Fettuccine and Spinach salad with Feta Cheese and Balsamic Dressing.. and Sun Chips, of course. After heating lunch and looking at the beautiful day outside, I decided it's time for a picnic; just me and God. We REALLY love picnics. I drove to a local park in a nice neighborhood by where I work. Sat "alone" out on the picnic bench, thanked the Father for my food and asked Him to bless it.. and then commenced to thanking him for His goodness and His provision and care for my family. I never take for granted how incredible it is that I am able to raise children with my income AND have all their spiritual, emotional and physical needs met; without a better half to help out. I KNOW it's ALL God and I give him ALL the Glory. Then it came time to visit with Jesus. I find when I am alone with Him, I ask Him alot of questions. I remember Keith Miller talking about how all his hair floated up like having his finger in a ligh...

No matter how busy you are or how much you have to do. You always have to stop EVERYTHING.. to look at a lady bug :)

The 2 chore needs of the soul are Relationship and Revelation. The substitute for these needs are often found in Romance and Religion. Not that these are wrong in themselves, but should be kept in their place, not superseding our vertical connection to God. So many are driven towards Romance and finding that special "someone" only to find disappointment and unfulfilled expectations. Likewise, many pursue religion as a means for insight or purpose; only to find a hollowness that is encompassed by a gilded cage of appearance and pretense. Once we realize that the substitutions are a farce, we often fall into a listless sense of fatalism. Life becomes "vanity, all is vanity". Just in order to continue to function, mediocrity settles in . A resignation occurs that says this is all there is and I will make the very best of it. At this point we BECOME what ever we place our affections toward. Whether it be workaholism, alcoholism, idolizing our children, gluttony, hypocho...

Exhaustion can be a funny thing. I find myself at a state of total oblivion when I finally determine to call it a day. Home from work, dinner done, kids fed, house semi-picked up, Caleb asleep; finally my quiet time. Given the fact that I prefer nights to mornings, I have learned the benefit of being bathed before bed so I can sleep in longer. But lately, I have not been able to get myself to get to bed at a decent hour. Around 10 at night, I think of a wonderful project that just HAS to be done! What on earth is driving me? For some reason I have an insatiable need to express myself and have someone know that I exist on this planet? Sunday night was finding old photos and posting my favorite ones. For some reason I had to prove to myself that I WAS a kid once; that I DID have a fantastic time as a teenager, and that my 20's were equally beautiful (considering the pitfalls). Monday night was LATE night dance practice.. exhilarating. I have decided that even when the performance is ...

Had the first real practice for my church Easter performance today. It was sweet, gentle, soft and delicate.. like rose petal in a field of daisies... aahhh... .NOT!.. it was a BLAST! I have a black stick that I get to bang in to the ground and wield over my head and slam into invisible forces in the air... awesome! One of the coolest, bald, black women I have ever seen in my life is a martial artist and is teaching us to "wield the stick". As we dance. It's very aggressive, very forceful, very accelerating; and there is something wonderful about doing it with a team of strong women together. I have seen my share of battles in real life, it's such a release to express the fight in a dance. There is one downside, however. We are playing the role of a demon horde in an Easter pageant. Something seems a little wrong about the "demons" getting to have the funnest part. Kind of twisted in a churchy kind of way. But dark characters are truly intense to play; they ...

What is it about rain on a tin roof that makes you feel like a blanket is being placed over your head and you can hardly move. The gentle walk of delicate emotions as you move from room to room hoping no one finds you hiding. You can peer through the holes and see the obscure world.. but you are hardly in it. Your world is under the blanket and your world makes you feel sleepy, heavy, and totally alone....

Well friend, I really did it good this time. Somehow before yesterday was over, I pushed away any human being even remotely close to my heart. Drawing near to it.. Or even thinking about it. Why did I do it? Why the intense conscience that will not even allow me to look, speak, or think of a man? What exactly am I so afraid of? Why does my ideal world picture not have romantic love in it at all? Why is it when I'm challenged on that I freeze up? Why do I only seem drawn to things I can not have, because it's safe, because I know I can't have it? hmmmm.... I'm sure having a womanizer for a dad didn't help. So what exactly is the process of erasing every childhood memory you have for a fresh start? There goes that solution. The bible says we must RENEW our minds. I take that to be the only real solution. The problem comes with reading the bible. I've read through it about 3 times now, probably more. When I open it up, I read that already. So now what? I know in m...

I have no idea what I'm doing. But I guess I better get it done. More to come when something worthwhile actually strikes me as being worthwhile.