Learned an interesting fact about Celtic Wives yesterday. A friend of mine has an interesting wedding band. It is a two toned with intricate designs around the perimeter and a small diamond embedded in the center. When I asked about the design, she explained to me about old Celtic practice of a shield maiden.
Celtic women often went in to battle WITH their husbands. They would be their husbands rear guard by holding a shield at his back and protecting him from vulnerable attack. When she described this role, I had chills run up my arm. It really clicked with something deep inside of me. A longing came alive and rang in my heart.
I have never been the type of woman that can just sit at home and lean on her husband for EVERYTHING. There have been many a time where I have been made to feel like an unfit or "unsubmissive" wife because this kind of ideal was NEVER a good fit for me. I realize now, it's because there is too much warrior inside of me. I want to be IN the battle. I want to be behind my man guarding him; warring WITH him; giving him the ability to go further in life by watching his rear and warning him of anything trying to sneak up from behind. When I see how I am raising my girls.. I see that I am urging them to be strong.. without becoming overbearing. I am urging them to become partners not footstools. I am teaching them to fight and to be willing to die; but not in vain.
The men I have been with so far have either A) not wanted to fight for a higher life at all.. but have been lulled in to complacency and I have fought alone. This is evident when they recognize my gifts but totally rely on me to do all the war (provide, raise the children, manage all the finances and be the spiritual leader of the home) OR; B) Would be so controlling as to my position and move me around for their own protection and security - that I was not allowed to be a woman at all.. only a female extension of a very insecure man.
I would like to some day have the freedom to be a woman AND to be a wife; to protect a man and fight along with him, to be trusted by him; to accomplish something as a team... sigh... I long for a man that is strong enough to lead.. but also secure enough to give his wife freedom to follow of her own accord.
But I do have to say, the positional error can occur with women too. I see women that REFUSE to work with their husbands. They have their own separate agendas and desires. They use their "shields" but only to protect themselves and they go about fighting for life.. but for personal gain only and the man is simply there to appease them and to be THEIR rear guard. How this must make a man feel, I can only imagine.
Also, there are women that will not hold up a shield at all.. but merely sleep in their husband's arms while he does EVERYTHING. She can not possibly be expected to serve a man, or lift him up when he is down, give him a safe place to lean back on when he's weary, watch out for him if he is being overwhelmed. He is there to serve her. He is there to pay the bills, take her to restaurants, clean the house, take her to church, take care of the kids. He literally does EVERYTHING and her life is ease and comfort. This is rare.. but I have seen it. I see the men that buckle under that pressure.
The truth of the matter is: I would rather fight alone than fight with a lazy man behind me. I would rather fight alone than be abandoned by a coward and left fending for myself anyway. I would rather fight alone than have my arms held down to my sides while I take hit after hit because a controlling man can not stand to see me advancing to the point where they feel insecure about themselves.
But ABOVE all .. I would rather be on a battleground with a warrior; fierce, intense and true. Trustworthy, noble, with integrity and character that makes him secure enough to hold his own, but humble enough to appreciate the fact that I am right behind him. A warrior that needs me, wants me, and is honored to have me there. A warrior that will look at the mountain with the biggest of giants and say, "Come on, Cher, Let's go there and watch the mighty things the Lord will do!" A man with courage that is not afraid to believe God for ANYTHING. A man that will not back down and run and leave me holding the front lines alone. If this sort of man even exists, I pray that I meet him some day. I pray that God will set him on a path directly to me. I pray that I will give him the fight of his life, just to get near me :) I pray that he will reach my heart. I will walk off the edge of the earth if he requires it. I will help him reach his destiny, his calling, his purpose.. because there lies my purpose along his side, guarding his back.
Celtic women often went in to battle WITH their husbands. They would be their husbands rear guard by holding a shield at his back and protecting him from vulnerable attack. When she described this role, I had chills run up my arm. It really clicked with something deep inside of me. A longing came alive and rang in my heart.
I have never been the type of woman that can just sit at home and lean on her husband for EVERYTHING. There have been many a time where I have been made to feel like an unfit or "unsubmissive" wife because this kind of ideal was NEVER a good fit for me. I realize now, it's because there is too much warrior inside of me. I want to be IN the battle. I want to be behind my man guarding him; warring WITH him; giving him the ability to go further in life by watching his rear and warning him of anything trying to sneak up from behind. When I see how I am raising my girls.. I see that I am urging them to be strong.. without becoming overbearing. I am urging them to become partners not footstools. I am teaching them to fight and to be willing to die; but not in vain.
The men I have been with so far have either A) not wanted to fight for a higher life at all.. but have been lulled in to complacency and I have fought alone. This is evident when they recognize my gifts but totally rely on me to do all the war (provide, raise the children, manage all the finances and be the spiritual leader of the home) OR; B) Would be so controlling as to my position and move me around for their own protection and security - that I was not allowed to be a woman at all.. only a female extension of a very insecure man.
I would like to some day have the freedom to be a woman AND to be a wife; to protect a man and fight along with him, to be trusted by him; to accomplish something as a team... sigh... I long for a man that is strong enough to lead.. but also secure enough to give his wife freedom to follow of her own accord.
But I do have to say, the positional error can occur with women too. I see women that REFUSE to work with their husbands. They have their own separate agendas and desires. They use their "shields" but only to protect themselves and they go about fighting for life.. but for personal gain only and the man is simply there to appease them and to be THEIR rear guard. How this must make a man feel, I can only imagine.
Also, there are women that will not hold up a shield at all.. but merely sleep in their husband's arms while he does EVERYTHING. She can not possibly be expected to serve a man, or lift him up when he is down, give him a safe place to lean back on when he's weary, watch out for him if he is being overwhelmed. He is there to serve her. He is there to pay the bills, take her to restaurants, clean the house, take her to church, take care of the kids. He literally does EVERYTHING and her life is ease and comfort. This is rare.. but I have seen it. I see the men that buckle under that pressure.
The truth of the matter is: I would rather fight alone than fight with a lazy man behind me. I would rather fight alone than be abandoned by a coward and left fending for myself anyway. I would rather fight alone than have my arms held down to my sides while I take hit after hit because a controlling man can not stand to see me advancing to the point where they feel insecure about themselves.
But ABOVE all .. I would rather be on a battleground with a warrior; fierce, intense and true. Trustworthy, noble, with integrity and character that makes him secure enough to hold his own, but humble enough to appreciate the fact that I am right behind him. A warrior that needs me, wants me, and is honored to have me there. A warrior that will look at the mountain with the biggest of giants and say, "Come on, Cher, Let's go there and watch the mighty things the Lord will do!" A man with courage that is not afraid to believe God for ANYTHING. A man that will not back down and run and leave me holding the front lines alone. If this sort of man even exists, I pray that I meet him some day. I pray that God will set him on a path directly to me. I pray that I will give him the fight of his life, just to get near me :) I pray that he will reach my heart. I will walk off the edge of the earth if he requires it. I will help him reach his destiny, his calling, his purpose.. because there lies my purpose along his side, guarding his back.
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