This past week has been a monster. Actually this whole month has been a battle. But this week in particular. I brought a friend of mine in to my home because she and her son have been bouncing from house to house for a year since she left her husband. Why did she leave? He was taking his paycheck and buying drugs with it. Leaving his family in a homeless state. After a year of running out of places to stay, she asked if she could come with me. It would be tight but I would never say no. After a month she asked if her husband could come too. I was reluctant but she assured me that he had been sober for 6 months and she wanted to give her marriage a chance and get her family together again. They hoped that gradually, with my help, they could get back on their feet again and start over. A good job was found for him within the first week of his arrival. He was very sweet and helpful around the house and for the past 3 months, it has been nice to have so many of the small maintenance things done, not to mention half the rent being paid so I can put the money towards Lauren's tuition. It worked out perfect and felt like God's providence. His son was noticeably happier and his wife too. Everything was going great and it looked like the family would be on their feet soon. This past Wednesday he received his paycheck and by Thursday he was gone. No one has heard from him since. With him, he took his half of the rent (which has put me in a significant bind) and he took his family's hope. His son is crying and angry all the time. His wife is emotionally exhausted and now battling depression and I am facing, once again, another lesson in tough love. I will not allow him back in my home under ANY condition. He will need to get help, but first life has to get bad enough for him that he realizes HE is the problem, not other people. It never ceases to amaze me about the power of addiction. How much it destroys families and how it comes first before EVERYTHING. Wives and children being abandoned when they are not able to care for themselves on their own. Me and my children have had to walk through such a world of mess because of the monster of addictions. I long to see balance restored. Instead, I see my first husband (the crack addict) now living in a "well to do" neighborhood in Fort Worth continually reminding me and Zoe that he is a HAVE and I am a HAVE NOT. ugh. My second husband, living with my best friend from when we were married, reminding me that HE is a HAVE and I am a NOT. My third husband, running around conning churches and nonprofit organizations in to thinking he is their answer to their financial prayers and an "all knowing" apostle; while he sneaks in to unsuspecting women's lives and molesting their children - never to be caught - because of his outstanding reputation as a "man of God". He is EVERY pastor's favorite... To this day, I have no idea how he does it.
So what do I have to tell my friend? Be like me, work hard, do what's right, take care of her son without any support, and someday her husband will get the life HE always dreamed of! Geesh, sometimes life just stinks. Sure, I know the Christian language. I know that I have so much in Jesus. I know that the measure of my relationship with him is the measure of true success. But I can't help but look at my small little life and see that there is SO much more I need to be fighting for, SO far I still need to go, and for some reason my path is more like the house of bricks than the sticks. It is taking a WHOLE lot longer to build and so much more to sacrifice. Meanwhile, almost every man that I see is a coward. Any attempt I make to give one a chance to prove me wrong is like throwing pearls before swine...lol.. I guess SOMEBODY... needs a SOZO!
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