Kicking Bad Habits

Quiting men has been alot like quiting cigarettes, when I think about it. I get strong cravings when I'm bored or stressed. Occasionally, my imagination takes me back to the days when I would partake in the habit and can ALMOST taste one again in my imagination.. then **POOF** it's gone. Back to the unmet craving, endured by the sheer strength of will power (who am I kidding, more like God's Grace)

Occasionally, I stand around "smokers" (women in relationships) only to inhale the old familiar scent of what I used to lean on for support and to help me relax. I breath in deeply the side smoke and "pretend" like I am still a smoker. Then I cough and sigh.. and rewind through my head all the reasons why I am smoke-free (man-free).

First, it made my teeth yellow (tainted my heart by actively pulling me away from Jesus). Second, they would make me tired all the time (drained the life out of me). Third, they gave me bad breath (the smell of fear stayed on my breath as I angled my words just right in order to keep from triggering an unpleasant response). Fourth and finally, they wanted me dead (unfortunately my same experience with men). The pleasure was hardly worth the pain.

I know, not all men are like cigarettes; just the ones I fell in love with (however, by Dr. M. Scott Peck's definition in The Road Less Traveled, it was NOT love). I just learned that it was better to go cold turkey than to keep expecting a different result from the same bad habit.

So far the decision has been a source of wisdom for me (4+ peaceful years with my kids - since May 28th, 2004 to be exact).

I can honestly say.. even to date.. there is NOT ONE man that has come anywhere near the center of my heart (even via friendship) that has not inflicted damage, like a bull in a china cabinet. As far as friendships go though, I have learned to keep the precious things locked away.

SOOO next time you hear me say I am craving a cigarette. You will know exactly what I mean.

BUT!! YOU SAY!!

Jesus is a MAN

I know, I know, I know

but..

HE is a GENTLE man

Haven't met one of those in human form yet.
WOULD like to though
Would LOVE to actually.

Comments

The Parable of the Snake

Once upon a time there was a serpent who was badly injured in a fight with another animal. It managed to slither away to safety but would have surely died if a benevolent man had not seen it suffering by the side of the road. The goodly man carefully wrapped the snake up and took it to his house, where he bestowed the kindest and gentlest care on the snake until it was healed and could return to the wild. Just as the man was releasing the serpent back into the grass, the ungrateful snake turned and bit him on the hand. "What did you do that for?" cried the man, who knew that the bite of this particular snake was usually fatal. "Didn't I take care of you when no one else would?" The snake shrugged (no small feat for a snake!) and replied to the benevolent--and now doomed-- man, "What did you expect? You knew I was a snake when you picked me up." We certainly know without any question that they are snakes. Time will tell if the moral of the tale is appli...

Tough Mind and Tender Heart by Martin Luther King

SERMON: A Tough Mind And A Tender Heart, by Martin Luther King, Jr. Be ye therefore wise as serpents, and harmless as doves. (Matthew 10:16) A French philosopher said, “No man is strong unless he bears within his character antitheses strongly marked.” The strong man holds in a living blend strongly marked opposites. Not ordinarily do men achieve this balance of opposites. The idealists are not usually realistic, and the realists are not usually idealistic. The militant are not generally known to be passive, nor the passive to be militant. Seldom are the humble self-assertive, or the self-assertive humble. But life at its best is a creative synthesis of opposites in fruitful harmony. The philosopher Hegel said that truth is found neither in the thesis nor the antithesis, but in an emergent synthesis that reconciles the two. Jesus recognized the need for blending opposites. He knew that his disciples would face a difficult and hostile world, where they would confront the recalcitrance of...

AS I SEEK

By Cherstin Jagger Mendez I seek within the ebb and flow, In every attempt for my heart to grow. I lean into the winds to see what they say. Hoping it’s secrets, it will give away. How do you live a life to the fullest? How do you push yourself beyond….? The lead weights on my feet telling me I can’t go, Due to my age or life, without much to show. For the potential within me fights every day to get out! For the voice in my heart says I can not do without … Without the land beneath my feet, Without the sound of the trees in the wind. Without the buds that bloom and tell me there’s hope, Without the love that flows from beyond my scope. Without the connection that reminds me that I’m alive, Without your heartbeat here by my side I seek again for what I cannot see. I seek again for what’s found inside of me. I seek again for the strength to persevere, As I walk among those that this world does fear …. DEDICATED TO TDCJ CORRECTIONAL OFFICERS

Jiron

Search This Blog