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Kicking Bad Habits


Quiting men has been alot like quiting cigarettes, when I think about it. I get strong cravings when I'm bored or stressed. Occasionally, my imagination takes me back to the days when I would partake in the habit and can ALMOST taste one again in my imagination.. then **POOF** it's gone. Back to the unmet craving, endured by the sheer strength of will power (who am I kidding, more like God's Grace)

Occasionally, I stand around "smokers" (women in relationships) only to inhale the old familiar scent of what I used to lean on for support and to help me relax. I breath in deeply the side smoke and "pretend" like I am still a smoker. Then I cough and sigh.. and rewind through my head all the reasons why I am smoke-free (man-free).

First, it made my teeth yellow (tainted my heart by actively pulling me away from Jesus). Second, they would make me tired all the time (drained the life out of me). Third, they gave me bad breath (the smell of fear stayed on my breath as I angled my words just right in order to keep from triggering an unpleasant response). Fourth and finally, they wanted me dead (unfortunately my same experience with men). The pleasure was hardly worth the pain.

I know, not all men are like cigarettes; just the ones I fell in love with (however, by Dr. M. Scott Peck's definition in The Road Less Traveled, it was NOT love). I just learned that it was better to go cold turkey than to keep expecting a different result from the same bad habit.

So far the decision has been a source of wisdom for me (4+ peaceful years with my kids - since May 28th, 2004 to be exact).

I can honestly say.. even to date.. there is NOT ONE man that has come anywhere near the center of my heart (even via friendship) that has not inflicted damage, like a bull in a china cabinet. As far as friendships go though, I have learned to keep the precious things locked away.

SOOO next time you hear me say I am craving a cigarette. You will know exactly what I mean.

BUT!! YOU SAY!!

Jesus is a MAN

I know, I know, I know

but..

HE is a GENTLE man

Haven't met one of those in human form yet.
WOULD like to though
Would LOVE to actually.

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